No, I don't mean that kind of cake (poopcake). I mean the kind of having-my-kiddos-in-the-backyard cake and still finding the time, the energy, the conditions, etc etc etc (add excuses) to ride. If you have horses in the back yard, the side yard, the front yard, or somewhere you maintain, you probably know what I'm talking about. It's almost like too much of a good thing. Too close to home. Like the place that's really cool down the street that you've never been to because it's always right there.
Except its different. They're your kids. They're my kids. I want to ride them, play with them, spend time with them. And I am forever blessed and happy to have them so very close. I get to snuggle with them at will, tuck them in at night. And if I wanted, I could set up a cot in a stall and sleep there! But you know what? I'm tired. And when I'm tired, the fun things tend to go. The chores must be done. Food must be fed. Poop must be picked. Even hooves need to be cleaned, coats groomed, barns tidied, hay tossed, fields maintained. So, riding? Yeah right.
Then I feel guilty for not riding. Oh, the guilt. Because they're young. I know they have a lot more training to do, trail riding, polishing. We could use an awful lot of desensitizing. And, the biggest on the guilt pile: they're bored. I can tell. They look at me like "mama, when?" And I tell them "later" or "soon" or something that gets me off the hook momentarily. But the sad thing is, I don't want off the hook. I want to ride. It just gets pushed and back-burnered, time and time again.
But I also feel guilty when we do ride. What's not getting done...in the house, for the pups, for my projects that are only an arm's reach away?
Plus, I'm out of shape. That doesn't help. Another excuse.
So how do we get over this hurdle? How do I allow myself to have my cake and eat it too? I really don't know. Please tell me when you have it figured out. For now, I'll just keep putting my cake on a pedestal and at least appreciate how good I have it. Hopefully soon, I'll learn to take a bite.